hiahugiwhovwiehgpisujfgpaeoif

since no one reads this but me i can write however i want on here and I can write whatever i feel like it. you make me head swim you stupid boy. you make me go through 700 different emotions throughout the day and i feel bipolar. nothing seems right unless im in your presence. you wont tell your parents or friends of my existance. like wtf. i feel like you are ashamed of me. or you are lying to me about telling people that i exist. either way its messed up. FUCK! ugh... i need to do something with all of this extra energy. i need school to start. i need to have no time to breath because right now im going nuts.i need to get lost in something. a puzzle perhaps. i wish there was more to clean around this house. it smells like shit because of the garbage. but there is nothing we can do about that.
I know how lucky feels right now. lucky from waiting for godot. this is his monologue:

Given  the existence, as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann, 
of a  personal God  quaquaquaqua,  
with white beard  quaquaquaqua, 
outside time, without extension,  
who, from the heights of divine apathia,  divine athambia, divine aphasia, 
loves us dearly  with some exceptions, for reasons unknown  but time will tell, 
and suffers like the divine Miranda 
with those who, for reasons unknown but time will tell, 
are plunged in torment, plunged in fire, 
whose fire flames, if that continues and who can doubt it, 
will fire the firmament - that is to say blast hell to heaven so blue still and calm 
so calm with a calm, which even though intermittent is better than nothing, but not so fast.

and considering what is more, that as a result of the labors left unfinished, 
crowned by the Acacacacademy of Anthropopopometry, 
of Essy-in-Possy, of Testew and Cunard, 
it is established beyond all doubt - all other doubt than that which clings to the labors of men - 
that as a result of the labors unfinished of Testew and Cunard, 
it is established as hereinafter - but not so fast for reasons unknown - 
that as a result of the public works of Puncher and Wattmann, 
it is established beyond all doubt that 
in view of the labors of Fartov and Belcher left unfinished for reasons unknown; 
of Testew and Cunard left unfinished 
it is established what many deny: 
that man in Possy of Testew and Cunard, that man in Essy, that man in short, that man in brief  
in spite of the strides of alimentation and defecation  
wastes and pines, wastes and pines.

and concurrently, simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown 
in spite of the strides of physical culture, 
the practice of sports such as tennis football 
running cycling swimming flying 
floating riding gliding conating camogie skating 
tennis of all kinds dying flying, 
sports of all sorts autumn summer winter winter, 
tennis of all kinds hockey of all sorts 
penicillin and succedanea; 
in a word I resume 
flying gliding golf over nine and eighteen holes tennis of all sorts; 

in a word for reasons unknown in Feckham Peckham Fulham Clapham, 
namely concurrently, simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown but time will tell 
fades away.



I resume - Fulham Clapham, in a word the dead loss per head since the death of Bishop Berkeley 
being to the tune of one inch four ounce per head, approximately, by and large, more or less, 
to the nearest decimal good measure, round figures; 
stark naked in the stockinged feet in Connemara. 

in a word for reasons unknown no matter what matter the facts are there; 
and considering what is more, much more grave 
that in the light of the labors lost of Steinweg and Peterman, 
it appears what is more, much more grave 
that in the light, the light the light of the labors lost of Steinweg and Peterman 
that in the plains, in the mountains, by the seas, by the rivers, running water, running fire, 
the air is the same and then the earth, namely the air and then the earth, 
in the great cold, the great dark, the air and the earth, abode of stones in the great cold 
alas alas in the year of their Lord six hundred and something, 
the air, the earth, the sea, the earth abode of stones in the great deeps the great cold 
on sea on land and in the air

I resume - for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis the facts are there but time will tell.
I resume – alas, alas, on on, in short, in fine, on on, abode of stones who can doubt it. 
I resume - but not so fast. 
I resume - the skull fading fading fading.

And concurrently, simultaneously, what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis, 
On on, the beard, the flames, the tears, the stones, so blue, so calm, alas alas, 
On on, the skull the skull the skull the skull in Connemara in spite of the tennis, 
The labors abandoned, left unfinished, graver still, abode of stones. 
In a word I resume - alas alas, abandoned, unfinished, the skull the skull in Connemara 
In spite of the tennis, the skull, alas the stones Cunard . . . 
Tennis . . . the stones . . .so calm . . .Cunard . . . unfinished . . . 

word vomit at its best