Yes this is my 50th post on my blog. That just means im a super loser who has nothing better to do with her time than to write about her boring melodramatic life.
I feel like with every friendship or any sort of relationship I have with someone, whether its friendship, mom to daughter, blah blah blah, I always give a lot more than I recieve. I think I try too hard and I care too much about people and that caring and trying pushes them away in the end. My whole life I have had friends, but I always felt like I was a bother or like I couldn't do anything right. That feeling is creeping up on me again in college. I feel like I am not allowed to get annoyed with someone or be upset without making someone else angry. Other people are allowed to be upset or angry with me but I can't be upset or angry with them. Maybe its the way I deal with things. I wish I could just take a break from life sometimes. Take a break and look at my life from the outside and see what mistakes I am making and how I can change them.
Steve is having a party at his house tonight and I dont know if I want to go. It should be fun and there will def. be people there that I get along with but I feel like a party pooper lately. My morale is in a shitty place and I am over compensating for it by being goofy loud and obnoxious.
PLUS! If I am having a good time I have a feeling that the person driving wont be having a good time and they will want to leave right as everything starts going.
I am not going to finish my last blog because I simply don't feel like it.
I went to the gym today and it felt nice while I was there. I wish I could have stayed longer and did a little bit more but whatever.
OH! Jaime bought the first two twilight books and I am going to start reading the first one. I hope I can finish it. I have the attention span of 6 year old A.D.D. child on speed when it comes to reading. I dont think that I have ever read a book from cover to cover, but maybe things will turn around.
I'm done. Have to go get ready.
I hope I have fun.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment