Sleep deprivation and frustration.

I am so tired because I keep getting woken up at insane hours of the morning. My dog feels the need to bark really really loud at nothing and the barking wakes me up. Ugh..

I have to go to work tomorrow at 12 but im going to wake up at 9 and try to go for a run. I havent gone running at all because its so freakin cold but im tired of making excuses for myself. Something in my life has to change if I want to get the things I want. I am tired of seeing other people happy and in relationships and awesome stuff like that and wondering why I cant have that. The reality of the situation is that I can have that I just have to change the way I look to fit the superficial needs of the guys of our time. Thank you to all of the young men of the world for making over weight girls feel like shit. :) Oh well.. It needs to happen for health reasons anyway... PLUS i do love the way I feel after working out and eating healthy, I just have to motivate myself. "Keep your eye on the prize Stephanie."

Today at work I got so upset with this woman that I work with. I know that she isnt the only person guilty of this but she made me want to blog about it. She was reading a news paper and the article was about this woman who was assaulted while she was sleeping on christmas. As she was reading the article aloud, she read that the assaulter was a man who was Mexican and outloud, she said "Yeah it figures that would happen. He is Mexican." I turned to her and I said that was really rude but I dont think she heard me. I am tired people being so closed minded and ignorant. Many of my friends and most of my family are racist and im happy that I can proudly say that I am not. I have never said the "N" word or conciously made any type of racial remark. I dont see the point in generalizing a group of people because I know that there are so many different kinds of people in the world, some of which are good and some of which are bad. The color of someones skin or the origin of their blood line does not decide what kind of person they are going to be.

Over the summer, I went on vacation with my family to Ocean City. (there are pictures and a blog about it somewhere on this site). Anywho... My grandma said something about Obama being a Muslim and that he is going to become president and blow the USA up. I got pissed at her because A. Not all muslims are suicide bombers because not all muslims take the quran and think that they have to kill themselves to please their god and B. Obama isnt a Muslim. She is stubborn as hell and wouldnt listen to my argument and just kept saying that Obama was going to blow up the USA and I didnt talk to her for the rest of the trip.

Please, If you are around me or just in general, do not use racial slurs or make racist comments because I will get upset with you. My friends make racist jokes and use racial slurs all the time and even though I am not the nationalities that they are making fun of, it still bothers me.

I have no idea if any of this made any sense because I am so tired but if it did I hope someone learned something.

Goodnight New Jersey. Goodnight.