Lately, I have been getting along with Heather, one of my room mates, who I had been having problems with in the past. Actually all of my room mates and I are getting along. It feels nice to walk in the door and feel like you are welcome.
Also lately, I have been feeling very angry/ sad. I dont know why but when I am alone I dont smile, I feel really upset and nothing is triggering these feelings. I dont understand why this happens to me every so often.
To some people I just want to open up completly. I want to tell them everything about my life, good, bad and in between. My past has come back to haunt me lately and I dont know where it came from. Things that I ahve never revealed to ANYONE are always on my mind after so many years of forgetting about them. I am not about to write them on here out of fear that someone will read it and put me away.
I am going to a party tonight with my friends. Hopefully, I will actually have fun instead of faking fun like I did all day. I have to put on a smile and cheery attitude so that people dont ask questions. They will drill away at me until I snap.
* I had my blog on private for a few days but I decided to make it public again. I will continue to sensor myself as I have been on here and keep the very few people who read this wondering that the hell is actually going through my mind. I am a mystery I guess.
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